When I Grow Up...

I don’t know about all of you, but I am constantly waiting to “grow up”.  Sure, I’m married, I have four kids, I have a job, and I do all the other things most “grown-ups” do, whether I want to or not.  But mentally, I still feel like a kid.  I have a few people in my life that I look up to and think, “I hope I am like them when I grow up.”  I’ve known these people for most, if not all, of my life.  They are spiritual giants to me and although you may not recognize their names, the influence they’ve had on me may be an influence that is familiar to you.

          Clyde Jones is one of the kindest, most forgiving, most generous people I have ever met.  I’ve known Clyde since I was seven years old and all these years, he’s remained one of the most influential people in my life.  He taught me the power of forgiveness and how it can change someone’s life.  Clyde has been known to allow people to borrow one of his cars if they needed it.  Back when I was 15 years old, Clyde let my dad borrow one of his cars for a few days.  For whatever reason, I thought it’d be a good idea to take that car out for a spin.  No, I didn’t have a license and no, I didn’t have anyone’s permission so yes, I basically stole that car.  In my infinite wisdom, I chose a dark, rainy night to take that car out and I ran it right into a telephone pole.  I.Totaled.That.Car.   I wasn’t really hurt, because I did have enough sense to wear a seatbelt, but I was dreading when my parents found out…and when Clyde would find out.  The next morning, my dad drove me to Clyde’s house so I could apologize in person.  I was a nervous wreck the whole way to his house and my knees felt like Jell-O as I stood in front of him and apologized profusely.  I was so embarrassed and afraid and my “ugly cry” was in full force when Clyde put his arms around me and said so sweetly and softly, “I forgive you.  I’m just glad you’re okay.  This car can be replaced, you cannot.”  I felt the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders and for the first time in my life, I knew how it felt to be wholly and sincerely forgiven.  To this day, I can still feel that immediate relief of true forgiveness when I relive that moment. He showed me how to be like Jesus that day and in that moment of pardon, Clyde was the embodiment of Christ.  I was taught one of most important lessons of my life that morning of March 26, 1997.  Forgiveness is a powerful, life-changing thing and I needed to be sure I passed that forgiveness on to others in my life when the time came.  Every time I’ve uttered the words, “I forgive you” since that day, I think about those words and that sweet hug from Clyde and I will be forever grateful for the lesson he taught me and the influence he continues to be in my life to this day.  Those three words changed me and I am so thankful.

          Miss Mary Etta Neiland is a legend, in my mind.  She started Happy Times Preschool at Central church of Christ over 30 years ago (my husband was in her first class!) and she retired this past year.  Three of my four kids have attended or are attending Happy Times and when she announced her retirement, I begged her to stay at least until all of my kids were out of preschool.  She simply smiled at my request and said, “No.”  It’s that honestly and candor that has resonated with me ever since I met Miss Mary Etta.  I grew up attending church at Central and Miss Mary Etta quickly became our adopted grandma…well, ours and everyone else’s!  At that time, she had no grandchildren of her own and I remember thinking how sad it was that this sweet lady wasn’t somebody’s grandma yet and I wanted to see to it that she felt like she was our grandma.  My little brother and I used to spend the night at her house from time to time and it was just like grandma’s house, from the carton of Purity Lemonade she’d pour us, to the trips to Toys R Us.  She would also “get after” us like a grandma would too.  Once when we spent the night, she tucked us in and turned off the light.  My brother and I of course didn’t settle down and Miss Mary Etta came back in the room and said very firmly, “It is time to go sleep.  I will NOT come in this room again.”  We understood and we went to sleep.  What she said went, and we loved and respected her for that.  A few years ago when my third daughter was at Happy Times, she went through a phase where she cried every time I dropped her off.  One morning after a particularly bad departure at the preschool, I called Miss Mary Etta and said, “I am so sorry about this morning.  I am at a loss for what to do.  What should I do?”  Miss Mary Etta let out a little laugh and said, “Well, first of all, I think you need to lighten up!”  I loved it.  She was exactly right. She explained that my child wasn’t the first to behave that way and she wouldn’t be the last and she assured me they could handle it.  “It won’t last forever,” she said.  There have been many instances when I’m unsure how to handle a situation with my kids and I think, “What would Miss Mary Etta do?” She has set the standard in my eyes and I can only hope to raise my kids as well as she raised her children.  To me, she is the epitome of child-rearing and common sense. She keeps it simple and she means what she says.  She’d probably think I was silly for admiring her as much as I do, but her mark in my life has been so significant and indelible it’s impossible to be anything but eternally grateful for the influence she’s had on me.

          My sweet Aunt Julia is the definition of a Proverbs 31 woman.  She has lived her life dedicated to the Lord and His work.  I often think about what God will say to her when she meets Him and there’s no doubt in my mind He’s mighty pleased with her.  She’s so calm and kind and whenever she enters the room, the atmosphere is softer.  She just has that affect on her surroundings.  I saw her last week and she came right over to me, kissed my forehead and said, “Love you,” in her sweet, gentle voice.  How could you not feel loved after that?!  She always has made me feel important and wonderful.  She has such a loving, patient, motherly way about her that I see she has passed on to her own daughters.  What a gift to give your children.  I remember when we were growing up, Aunt Julia used to expect her children to obey “right away, all the way, and happily”.  Such a simple saying, but it says so much about the expectations she had for her children.  My Aunt Julia has shown me, and many others, how to live for the Lord and to always put Him first no matter the circumstances.  What a blessing she has been to me.

          I’m sure everyone has those people in their lives who’ve had a profound impact on them.  Like I said, these names and people may not mean anything to you, but they mean the world to me and the countless others they’ve influenced.  I can only hope to influence those around me in the way that these three have in my life.

Well, Bless Your Heart....

      Bless your heart. Living in the South, you can get away with saying nearly anything if you follow it up with a , "Bless your heart". I have such a love/hate relationship with that phrase.  Love it if it's directed towards someone else.  Hate it if it's directed towards me. I learned that firsthand last Friday. 

      That afternoon, I had to make a run to Publix, my favorite grocery store.  I love going to the grocery store.  Ryan and I usually go together, but he was at work and I needed a few things right away.  I feel almost "nekkid" if I walk into Publix without him.  Sadly, just about everyone who works there knows us.  Ryan especially...he tends to stand out in a crowd a little more than I do :)  We walk in and the Meat Manager comes over and slaps Ryan on the back, "Hey!  Big Man!  How's it goin'?!" I love it.  I love that my sweet Ryan makes friends everywhere he goes.  Anyhow, I already felt somewhat out of sorts waltzing through Publix without "Big Man" by my side that afternoon.  I had my two littlest ones buckled in the cart and I was deciding what butter to buy when a sweet little old lady pushed her cart over to me.
     
      "What beautiful little girls you have!" she said.  I thanked her and then she dropped a bomb on me.
    
        "Are they excited for the new baby?"  I was totally confused.  Baby?  What baby?  I even glanced at my cart to see if I had given birth to an infant since arriving at the store.  I told you I was feeling out sorts, so who knows what I could've done in those first five minutes, browsing the butter.  I must've looked like a confused puppy because I cocked my head to the side and just stared at her blankly.  Then the realization hit me like a ton of bricks.
    
        "Oh, I'm not pregnant," I said softly, partly because I didn't want to embarrass her and partly because I didn't want to embarrass myself.  This sweet old lady looked as if she were about to cry.
    
       "Oh! I'm so sorry! I just...I thought...your blouse...well, bless your heart."  I couldn't help but laugh.  She put her hand on my arm and kept apologizing.  I kept laughing.  She kept trying to explain why she thought I was pregnant.  I kept laughing. 

      "It must be your blouse, dear.  Oh, bless your heart.  I do apologize."  I told her it was okay and I do have what I like to call "permanent baby belly", since I've had four children.  Well, that struck a chord with her.  She also had four children.  I learned all about them.  And their spouses.  And their children.  And her husband is a preacher.  And they always go grocery shopping together (just like us!) She said she could tell I was a Christian by the way I handled her thinking I was pregnant.  I took that as a compliment :)  And she is also one of four children.  And they are all in their 80's.  And she turned 85 on April 4th.  After a few minutes, she said she must go because she could see that her husband was getting a little wild in the potato chip aisle.  She squeezed my hand and said, "You're so sweet.  I do hope we meet again."  I said I hoped the same, and I turned to walk down the ice cream aisle.  I had a coupon for the best ice cream bars on the planet.  They are a little pricey, so when I have a coupon, I have to buy a box.  Just as I reached in the freezer case and pulled out my beloved bars, my new friend was looking at me, half ways smiling.

      "Okay," I said, "This is really why I have 'permanent baby belly'."  She laughed and gave me a look that I KNOW said, "Well, bless your heart."

     

     

Someday...

Someday, you'll miss this, so I'm told

Try not to wish it away

Too soon it seems your babies grow old

And you'll be wanting back these days

 

Someday, you'll miss the growing belly

The swollen ankles, the tiny kicks

Constant cravings for peanut butter and jelly

And feeling like your body's taken 1000 licks

 

Someday, you'll miss that newborn cry

Jarring you out of a deep, dead sleep

The long day that blurs into night

And being so tired, you just want to weep

 

Someday, you'll miss sitting, rocking her in the chair

Feeling so unproductive, laundry piled high

Forgetting the last time you washed your hair

Feeling like every sign of youth has waved bye-bye

 

Someday, you'll miss diapers, teething, spit-up

Car seats, high chairs, and first steps

Pureed peas, pacifiers, sippy cups

And wondering if as a mother, you are inept

 

Someday, you'll miss the tiny sound

Of footsteps creeping down the hall

"Get back in bed!" you stand your ground

But would that extra cuddle have hurt, after all?

 

Someday, you'll miss running around town

Dropping off, picking up, and bringing to

Swimming upstream, about to drown

Feeling like your whole life is a zoo

 

Somedays, I feel like that "someday"

Is so far down the road, out of my reach

But somedays that "someday" feels not so far away

"Not yet!" I think "So much is left to teach!"

 

So hold my hand, yours in mine feels so small

I wish I could halt this swift-moving time

But I'll have my memories, I'll cherish them all

And someday remember when you were all mine