Tuesday, April 26, 2011

What Would You Say...

I often think of really weird things.  Really strange, off-the-wall, made-up scenarios of things that will probably never happen.  I don't know why I do that; to pass the time maybe, since I have SO much time to be wasting :)  One of the weird things that I can't get out of my head lately is if I had some "Back to the Future II" moment and I ran into my past self.  Oh, the things I would tell me!! 

I would tell newborn Lindsey to enjoy these first fleeting years.  Inhale your momma's sweet smell and enjoy the sound of her beautiful voice singing you to sleep.  I would tell her to enjoy being the baby of the family, because Stew would be along before too long and forever strip you of that title.  I think I would also tell her to live it up while she can in those comfy footed pajamas, because apparently it's unacceptable to wear them as an adult :) 

Next, I would like to run into five-year-old Lindsey.  If memory serves me, Lindsey at this age was a happy-go-lucky little girl that preferred to skip instead of walk.  I would tell her to keep that sunny, positive attitude because Heaven knows you'll need it when you hit about 16.  I would tell her to cherish the times that she spends with her family dog, Rebel, because he'll be gone soon and you'll never have another pet like him.  Even when you're an adult, you'll still be convinced that Rebel was actually a human being in a dog's body :) 

Seven-year-old Lindsey has no idea what is going to happen to her at this very young age.  It will change the course of her life.  She has no idea that in July of that year, she is going to meet her future husband.  I would tell her to keep an eye on that cute little boy sitting in the church pew next to her, because someday he is going to be the reason you get out of bed in the mornings.  He'll be what brings you immeasurable happiness and he'll be the one you'll be thrilled to grow old with. He'll be the one you want to have children with and the one you want to cuddle with on the couch.  He'll hold you when you cry and make you laugh so hard your stomach hurts.  He'll drive you crazy when he leaves his bathroom a mess, but you'll clean it up anyways because your heart will be so full of love for him.  He'll leave the house at 10 pm when you're pregnant and have a craving for Kripsy Kreme and he won't get mad if you don't save him one.  You will know how it feels to have butterflies in your tummy for the rest of your life, because of him.

Fifteen-year-old Lindsey is well, a brat.  Plain and simple.  I would probably slap her if I ran into her.  I can say that, because it's me :)  After popping her in the mouth for talking back to her momma, I would tell her to try to enjoy being a teenager.  I know all the stress you're feeling, all the pain, all the fear.  Honestly, Lindsey it gets harder before it gets easier.  Much harder.  But you will be just fine.  Don't invest time in boys that don't care about you and stick with those sweet friends you have, especially the friend you have in your mom.  Stop being so rebellious, stop being ugly to your mom, stop skipping school...and go clean your room.

Twenty-two-year old Lindsey finally has it (somewhat) together.  She married the best fella out there and she's happily settling into married life.  She's trying so hard to be the perfect wife and mother, but it's not happening :)  After forcing her to stop obsessively cleaning the house, I would sit her down and tell her she's being unrealistic.  You've got years to clean this house, trust me.  If you had any idea how much laundry you'll be doing before you hit 30, you'd rest up now and save your energy.  I would tell her that in just a few short years, her house will be full of precious little girls bouncing off the walls and tearing up the place.  I wonder if she'd believe me if I told her that it won't really bother her anymore if the laundry isn't done and there are dishes in the sink?  I'm sure she'd be shocked to hear she'll be the kind of mom whose girls aren't always well-behaved or well-dressed, but you'll be okay with that...you can handle it.  You will have days that you want to pull your hair out and getting to go to the bathroom alone is a rarity.  There will be times you feel so alone, but you snap out of it fast because you'll realize you have more love and more support than you ever imagined.  You will consider yourself beyond blessed because you have healthy kids, a husband who adores you and a family that makes your job as a mom SO much easier, just by being there for you.  By the by, enjoy that figure because by the time you hit 25, it'll be long gone :)

I wonder what I'll tell 40-year-old Lindsey, 50-year-old Lindsey or even 70-year-old Lindsey?  I'm sure I'll tell her that it's okay to cry when your girls leave for college or when you see their daddy walk them down the aisle.  I may tell her that hot-flashes and mood swings are a normal part of menopause, but try not to take it out on Ryan so much, he's only trying to help :)  Or maybe I'd tell her that her choice in a retirement community was excellent, although I know it was hard to sell the home where your children grew up. 

Oh, and big points to the first person to knows what band has a song with the same title as my post :)

Friday, April 8, 2011

To Know Her is to Love Her...

Our sweet Anne Claire turned one this past week.  I really feel as if it were just a few weeks ago that I held that tiny (for one of our babies!) seven pound, nine ounce baby in my arms for the first time.  I will never forget the look on her face that precious moment.  She had the sweetest, loveliest expression on her face, almost as if she were telling me, "I'm here, Momma."  That very minute, all the pain I had felt seconds before vaporized, and time froze.  I felt like her eyes were fixed on mine and that she was studying me as much as I was studying her.  I still get that feeling when her beautiful blue eyes meet mine.  She has a calm about her, despite the chaos that ensues in our home on a daily basis!  Anne Claire simply sits back and takes it all in.  She watches her sisters with quiet observation and I wonder what is going on in her little mind.  I can't wait until she learns to talk so she can fill me in on what she's thinking about.  For the time being, I am happy just to watch her grow and soak up all the love and happiness that surrounds her.  Ever since she was born, a verse of The Beatles song, "To Know Her is to Love Her" has reminded me of Anne.  This verse is a perfect fit for that perfect baby:

To know, know, know her
Is to love, love, love her
Just to see her smile
Makes my life worthwhile
To know, know, know her
Is to love, love, love her
And I do.

Happy birthday, Anne Claire.  You light up my life :)